I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
