I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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