So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
