He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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