oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
