Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
