cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
