at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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