Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
