Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
