why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
