Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
