How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
