I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Actions speak louder than pants.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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