I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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