I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
