is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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