Christians are straight up FREAKS
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
