Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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