with your own penis?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
