I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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