I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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