No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
