omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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