i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
