I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
