what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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