I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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