And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
