Your mouth is God's brothel.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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