1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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