Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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