ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
