my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
