she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize