She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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