I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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