worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
