we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
