I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
