So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
