i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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