Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
