Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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