Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
