I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
