u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
