I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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