Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
