i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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